Monday, October 31, 2011

Continued Update

Still very little movement from Jellybean. I get a nudge every now and then, but nothing significant. Granted, she is running out of space in there and movement should be more restricted at this point, but I think I should still be feeling some significant movement during the day and not just the nudge of a heel every few hours.

Doctor's office remains unconcerned and says they'll check it out tomorrow.

Intense contractions last night starting in my back. Really really painful - like nothing I've had before. Hoped for them to become regular, but instead they decided to stick with their normal, irregular pattern all night long and refuse me sleep. Off and on contractions today.

Tomorrow is a big checkup with sonogram and monitors, so I'm hoping they can tell me something to put my mind at ease. This no movement thing is really freaking me out and I'm losing my mind over it. I refuse to get this far just to have a fluid or cord problem cause terrible issues that we miss or don't control in time. At this point, we are 35 weeks and this baby needs to come out. I don't know why, but my body simply cannot do this. I cannot take care of a child in my body because my body fights against it tooth and nail. I need them to deliver her so we can see that she is ok and that we can take care of her in a better environment.

And for those who believe she is in the better environment right now, I strongly disagree. A good environment does not actively seek to evict the baby for eight weeks, require daily blood thinners to keep from clotting off the cord, require two types of antibiotics to stop recurring uti's, and have low fluid issues. My body is actively searching for ways to hurt this baby, and it's scaring the crap out of me.


  1. Please print this and take it to show the DR tomorrow. You will get there and try to be all strong and agreeable. Your DR needs to know how you are really feeling about this.

  2. I'm sorry things are going like this--I agree that you should do your best to be VERY honest with the doctor.

    Soon you will have a beautiful baby girl. When she is 16 and has some crappy boyfriend you can remind her of all that you went through to give her life.

    I'm thinking about you all the time and I hope this gets better soon!!!

  3. Thank you both so much - welcome to the terrifying world of extreme pregnancy hormones. I know that's causing some of this and making it more intense.

    Brian is coming with me tomorrow and he won't let me back down or try to play it off, so we should be able to get some good answers from the doctor. I have to keep reminding myself that this is the doctor that listened to me when I knew I had an ectopic pregnancy and my other doctor blew me off and that she's the one that stayed in contact with me over the Thanksgiving holiday to help me stay sane. I have to just believe that she knows what she's doing and hope for the best tomorrow.

    thanks again!

  4. I cannot believe your dr office is being so dismissive about this. Now is the time to be as annoying and demanding as you need to be to get taken seriously. Frankly, the idea of you waiting until tomorrow scares me. Halloween seems the perfect day to have a Jellybean!

  5. I'm surprised they're not more worried about this, too. It sounds concerning to me (since it's something I keep worrying about with my girls). My doctors keep telling me "Don't feel stupid for calling; call ANYTIME you're concerned. We don't care if you come in for monitoring every day between now and delivery-- we'd rather be safe than sorry." It's reassuring for me, even though the girls have been fine this whole time, because I'd be a wreck otherwise. <3

    I have the same feeling about "they'll be fine, please get them out now so we can SEE that they're okay" with my girls, and I haven't had half the issues you have. I'm 36 weeks today, and just dying to go into labor since I'm at term for twins and I don't want to push it, I just want them OUT so I know they're finally going to be out and okay and I can stop worrying. So I totally understand that feeling, except you have a different situation from me with all the pain and PTL, and I really hope for your sake that your doctors reconsider and listen to your concerns.

  6. I am so proud of you. You have fought so, so hard to get here, and you are listening to you body to get through those next few steps. I hope your doctor listens to you and DH- you really are your best advocate.

    It's time to listen to your body and take care of jellybean from the outside! Lots of love and luck :)