It's interesting. I was so determined that no matter how sick I was, I was going to enjoy this pregnancy. And I am/will. I don't appreciate the extra stress, but I do enjoy it.
I didn't fully anticipate how sick the extra medicine would make me. The new one causes drowsiness and dizziness and the other one still makes me queasy, but it's not unbearable. Just weird.
Brian keeps telling me this is all good and all going according to plan. He said we wanted a doctor who would monitor us closely and fix things as they popped up. It's good to look at things from his perspective rather than my own fatalistic tendencies - he's far more positive than I am.
At this point, I don't know if we're still going in on Thursday or if we are now waiting for the sonogram in two weeks that she told me about yesterday. I'm really quite anxious for this point because it will be the first concrete sign that things are doing what they are supposed to. Granted, my levels doubled and things were good there, but to see a heartbeat would make all the difference in the world. That doesn't mean we're out of the woods, but at that point, we're as safe as anyone can be in a pregnancy.
So, I'm tired and I'm nervous, but I'm trying to remain positive and look at things from Brian's perspective. I pulled out my backpack with wheels so I can look like a total dork and have removed all caffeine from my diet. At this point, I am honestly doing everything I can do and I just have to have faith that it's enough.
It's hard when you're not in control :)
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