One of the things that I find most interesting about this whole aftermath is that pregnancy upsets me. It's very hard to see people who are pregnant or to hear about them. When my sister-in-law was pregnant this year, it was very hard to see her and be around her and I dreaded the day she gave birth. I didn't know how I would handle it - especially since she was due in July and I had just had so much trouble in May. The surprising thing was that the birth didn't bother me at all. I wasn't jealous and I wasn't upset. I was simply happy to meet my nephew.
Now, the same thing is happening again. My friend is going to be induced tonight and I'm so excited for her and for the baby that I can barely sit still. I have had a hard time being around her in the past few months and have avoided situations to keep myself from thinking about it. But now I can't wait. I want to meet her beautiful baby girl and hold her and kiss her.
Perhaps that's where my focus needs to be. Maybe I need to stop seeing pregnancy and start seeing families. I still hurt and I still am sad, but I'm very excited to meet the new baby. Send good thoughts her way tonight!