It's just the way I planned to spend my day. Another eventful day courtesy of our old friend "pre-term labor!"
It all started last night when my contractions started to get really intense. Like - taking the Tylenol 3 and the procardia and NOTHING changes or dulls the pain. It was really bad. Then my stomach became rock hard and stayed that way. Typically, in a contraction, your stomach becomes hard briefly and then releases - mine didn't release. I managed to make it through a VERY long night by using heating pads, hot showers, lots of pillows, and crying (it's a good release when you're tired, frustrated, and in pain). Today I called the doctor and was told to come in for yet another session with my old friends the monitors.
They hooked me up and started watching. My belly was still hard as a rock, so they couldn't get much other than pressure in terms of contractions, but, for the first time, Jellybean wasn't doing so well. Her baseline heartbeat was 190 - with many forays into the 210-220 range. This is REALLY high. It stayed this way for about forty minutes. So they had me switch onto my side and it went down - baseline 180. Still way too high. At this point, I was in enough pain to be sweating with each contraction and nauseous - neither one of us was doing well.
And off to sonogram we went. Time for another biophysical profile. Jellybean did meet all her marks, but she did it very slowly - we were there for about forty minutes trying to get her to do what she needed to do. Baseline heartbeat was still at 170 (still too high) and my fluid was back down to the very low end of normal. All of this led the doctor to question the tear in the amniotic sac theory and whether I was leaking more fluid and we had infection or other stress going on that was affecting JB. So, she sent me off to L&D.
Thankfully, I got to go outpatient this time (less comfortable, but less permanent as well). They hooked me up and Jellybean was looking much better. She eventually - within an hour - stabilized and went back to normal. Lots of blood tests on me that came back normal. Just as we were about to be released, my contractions started to hit big and strong. They were still not coming in a pattern, but they were coming about every minute or so. They gave me another dose of procardia to back them off, but it didn't do anything.
My doctor was due in to deliver another baby soon, so they had me stay on the monitors until she could come in and check me. Contractions continued - irregular but strong and frequent. She finally checked me out and decided that since Jellybean's heart was good and the contractions weren't increasing in frequency or strength, we were "ok." I am starting to dilate now - just a bit - but once you start down that road, you can't really stop it. That's got her a bit concerned. She wanted me to stay the night, at least, and I had a total breakdown and begged to be released to my own home and bed. She finally agreed, but I have strict orders to be in again tomorrow and Friday if anything continues.
So, it's been another long and drama filled day. We are on very strict bed rest until next Tuesday - lie on the left side as often as possible and no extra movement at all. I'm still hopeful that much of this will be lifted next week, but with the dilation, that may not be the case. I'm thankful JB is looking good, but I'm worried about her now - this is the first time we've seen her react poorly to these situations. I just worry about such a little bitty person having to deal with so much.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Decisions and Good News
Unfortunately, the time has come to make a pretty big decision. Of course, it's not one that has to be made at this point in time, but it has to be made pretty soon. What to do after the baby is here?
Most people would think: "Uhm...simply enjoy the baby." Yes, we plan to do that. But there's a bigger decision that we have to make. To put it simply, the question, as phrased by my doctor is, "While we're doing the C-section, do you want your tubes tied?"
Deep sigh.
How do you answer that question? I'm sure for a lot of people it's a simple yes or no - as it should be for us. Since the doctor thinks another pregnancy would be extremely risky (more for me than the baby) and since Brian doesn't like that idea and has decided we need to close up shop, I should say, "yes, please do." But it's so permanent. Once it's done, it's done. There are no more children.
Ok, I know that's silly. We could adopt if we wanted more children. And we've already pushed our luck to the limit, it would appear, so having a third child naturally (or as "naturally" as daily lovenox injections and other high risk monitoring allow) is probably not our smartest idea. I just don't know that I'm ready to face the idea of "forever." We have talked off and on about Brian doing a vasectomy (since I've sort of put in my time, he felt it was the least he could do), but once the suggestion was made by the doctor, it seemed like it would be easiest to take care of it during our already scheduled surgery.
Now, the more logical of you out there are probably thinking: Why not just go on birth control or an IUD or something like that? Obviously this isn't a bad idea, but we have to be careful about "accidents." If I'm not planning on something happening and something did accidentally happen, we would have the painful experience of another miscarriage or, even worse, another ectopic pregnancy which could be deadly. When we think about it that way, permanent seems to be our best option. I just wish I could make my peace with it. I always talk about how this is my last chance to be pregnant and the last time I get to experience this, but the surgery adds a new level of "real" to it.
Of course, we don't need to decide today, but we do need to decide soon just in case I would go into labor early. This is one of those things that would have to be decided ahead of time and not in the middle of delivery. And, of course, Brian could always be the one to take the bullet on this one at a later date. But it's just such a heavy idea and I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around it. It really shouldn't be this hard...but I guess anything that is "forever" is hard (obviously, insurance doesn't pay to reverse anything and there's no guarantee that a reversal would even work, so we need to consider it permanent).
In other news, the appointment today was pretty good. It looks like there is a good chance I can become semi-mobile next week after my appointment, which is absolutely the best news ever. We also scheduled our surgery. If she does not come any earlier, Jellybean will be joining us on November 18. Our surgery is scheduled for 12:15pm. One month from today, one way or another, I will get to meet my baby girl :)
Most people would think: "Uhm...simply enjoy the baby." Yes, we plan to do that. But there's a bigger decision that we have to make. To put it simply, the question, as phrased by my doctor is, "While we're doing the C-section, do you want your tubes tied?"
Deep sigh.
How do you answer that question? I'm sure for a lot of people it's a simple yes or no - as it should be for us. Since the doctor thinks another pregnancy would be extremely risky (more for me than the baby) and since Brian doesn't like that idea and has decided we need to close up shop, I should say, "yes, please do." But it's so permanent. Once it's done, it's done. There are no more children.
Ok, I know that's silly. We could adopt if we wanted more children. And we've already pushed our luck to the limit, it would appear, so having a third child naturally (or as "naturally" as daily lovenox injections and other high risk monitoring allow) is probably not our smartest idea. I just don't know that I'm ready to face the idea of "forever." We have talked off and on about Brian doing a vasectomy (since I've sort of put in my time, he felt it was the least he could do), but once the suggestion was made by the doctor, it seemed like it would be easiest to take care of it during our already scheduled surgery.
Now, the more logical of you out there are probably thinking: Why not just go on birth control or an IUD or something like that? Obviously this isn't a bad idea, but we have to be careful about "accidents." If I'm not planning on something happening and something did accidentally happen, we would have the painful experience of another miscarriage or, even worse, another ectopic pregnancy which could be deadly. When we think about it that way, permanent seems to be our best option. I just wish I could make my peace with it. I always talk about how this is my last chance to be pregnant and the last time I get to experience this, but the surgery adds a new level of "real" to it.
Of course, we don't need to decide today, but we do need to decide soon just in case I would go into labor early. This is one of those things that would have to be decided ahead of time and not in the middle of delivery. And, of course, Brian could always be the one to take the bullet on this one at a later date. But it's just such a heavy idea and I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around it. It really shouldn't be this hard...but I guess anything that is "forever" is hard (obviously, insurance doesn't pay to reverse anything and there's no guarantee that a reversal would even work, so we need to consider it permanent).
In other news, the appointment today was pretty good. It looks like there is a good chance I can become semi-mobile next week after my appointment, which is absolutely the best news ever. We also scheduled our surgery. If she does not come any earlier, Jellybean will be joining us on November 18. Our surgery is scheduled for 12:15pm. One month from today, one way or another, I will get to meet my baby girl :)
Monday, October 17, 2011
Bed Rest Bonus
You know those days when you just don't want to get out of bed because it feels so darn good to just stay there?
Well, I don't have to :) And there's no way to feel guilty about it either.
Well, I don't have to :) And there's no way to feel guilty about it either.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Been a while...
But sometimes I'm just not in a big writing mood :) I'm sure you understand.
Some important things have happened lately:
1.) We are now at 33 weeks. That's pretty safe, which is good. If I'm really really really really really really lucky and the doctor doesn't see anything changing next week at our 34 week appointment, there's a small chance that I could go on modified bed rest instead of strict bed rest. That would be wonderful. If not....five weeks to go.
2) Which brings us to point two: I have now completed 22 days on full bed rest. In some ways, they have been the longest of my life and in others, due to my now complete lack of comprehension of the passage of time, it seems pretty quick. Days just sort of bleed together with no real distinction, which is probably the blessing of this kind of situation. Again, if I'm really lucky, there's only about 9 more days of full bed rest; however, if we have to stick with this plan until our scheduled surgery, we're looking at at least five weeks (depending on when the surgery will take place). That would be more depressing.
3) I have read somewhere around a book a day; I have watched all of Mad Men; I have caught up on past Oscar winners and nominees that I haven't seen and meant to; I have knitted two blankets for Katie. I meant to do some photo and video projects as well, but those require more brain power than I seem capable of producing at this point in time.
4) I have passed the 40 day mark. The next time we hit one of those big day markers, it will be less than 30 (which, of course, means less than a month!). It's getting easier now that I can safely say that Jellybean could join us at any point now. She was measuring 4lbs last time we did a sonogram, and at this point she should be gaining about half a pound a week, so today she should be about 4.5lbs. Next week she should be at 5, which is typically the minimum for a baby to be able to leave the hospital (as long as breathing is ok and the baby can also regulate body temps), so we're hitting major milestones that mean she could be ok if she's born now.
Katie still doesn't understand what's going on or why I can't get up to play with her or go places with her. Her attitude has become very whiny and very angry - she gets upset at the drop of a hat (I think some of that is just simple "she's three years old" stuff, though). I'm hoping that even if I have to stay on full bed rest I can negotiate with the doctor to be able to go to her parent/teacher conference next week and to do some car-based trick or treating with her, but I'm not sure how she'll feel about that. I'm just going to cross my fingers and hope.
Tomorrow is my birthday and that has also been weird. I had hoped to spend this weekend at my parents' house as a kinda last weekend to travel before the baby was born. I was supposed to be able to travel freely up until 35 weeks, at which point it would be on a week-to-week basis. Funny how much has changed since I started planning that. It's kind of a bummer as well because my little brother is close to graduating from the police academy (Nov 4) and I REALLY wanted to be there for that (but, of course, that was already on the fence due to timing). It's all still worth it, but it is hard to miss these big events.
Contractions are not quite as constant as they were - I had a few days of almost complete quiet on Wednesday and Thursday, which was simply lovely. You know how when you're sick or you have a really bad headache for a few days and then you wake up one day and it's not there? That's a great day because you remember how badly the other days felt. That's how it is now - if I can go a day without contractions, it's a great day :) We'll be back at the doctor on Tuesday for another check-up, NST, and whatever else they feel is necessary on that given day. We ended up with another negative on our recent FFN test, so there's a 99% chance that I will NOT deliver in the next two weeks. This is really good because we know we're pretty safe (with the obvious exception of something strange happening - water breaking, placenta issues, etc), but it can be frustrating because if I get a lot of contractions, I know it's not worth going to L&D or the doctor because I have a negative on that test. I can safely say that I now know way more about preterm labor, tests, and medications than I ever wanted to know.
Anyway, I'm thankful that things have been pretty good and hopeful they will continue so I can get that modified bed rest. Whoever would think that a goal would be to get to go to the grocery store every now and then? ;)
Some important things have happened lately:
1.) We are now at 33 weeks. That's pretty safe, which is good. If I'm really really really really really really lucky and the doctor doesn't see anything changing next week at our 34 week appointment, there's a small chance that I could go on modified bed rest instead of strict bed rest. That would be wonderful. If not....five weeks to go.
2) Which brings us to point two: I have now completed 22 days on full bed rest. In some ways, they have been the longest of my life and in others, due to my now complete lack of comprehension of the passage of time, it seems pretty quick. Days just sort of bleed together with no real distinction, which is probably the blessing of this kind of situation. Again, if I'm really lucky, there's only about 9 more days of full bed rest; however, if we have to stick with this plan until our scheduled surgery, we're looking at at least five weeks (depending on when the surgery will take place). That would be more depressing.
3) I have read somewhere around a book a day; I have watched all of Mad Men; I have caught up on past Oscar winners and nominees that I haven't seen and meant to; I have knitted two blankets for Katie. I meant to do some photo and video projects as well, but those require more brain power than I seem capable of producing at this point in time.
4) I have passed the 40 day mark. The next time we hit one of those big day markers, it will be less than 30 (which, of course, means less than a month!). It's getting easier now that I can safely say that Jellybean could join us at any point now. She was measuring 4lbs last time we did a sonogram, and at this point she should be gaining about half a pound a week, so today she should be about 4.5lbs. Next week she should be at 5, which is typically the minimum for a baby to be able to leave the hospital (as long as breathing is ok and the baby can also regulate body temps), so we're hitting major milestones that mean she could be ok if she's born now.
Katie still doesn't understand what's going on or why I can't get up to play with her or go places with her. Her attitude has become very whiny and very angry - she gets upset at the drop of a hat (I think some of that is just simple "she's three years old" stuff, though). I'm hoping that even if I have to stay on full bed rest I can negotiate with the doctor to be able to go to her parent/teacher conference next week and to do some car-based trick or treating with her, but I'm not sure how she'll feel about that. I'm just going to cross my fingers and hope.
Tomorrow is my birthday and that has also been weird. I had hoped to spend this weekend at my parents' house as a kinda last weekend to travel before the baby was born. I was supposed to be able to travel freely up until 35 weeks, at which point it would be on a week-to-week basis. Funny how much has changed since I started planning that. It's kind of a bummer as well because my little brother is close to graduating from the police academy (Nov 4) and I REALLY wanted to be there for that (but, of course, that was already on the fence due to timing). It's all still worth it, but it is hard to miss these big events.
Contractions are not quite as constant as they were - I had a few days of almost complete quiet on Wednesday and Thursday, which was simply lovely. You know how when you're sick or you have a really bad headache for a few days and then you wake up one day and it's not there? That's a great day because you remember how badly the other days felt. That's how it is now - if I can go a day without contractions, it's a great day :) We'll be back at the doctor on Tuesday for another check-up, NST, and whatever else they feel is necessary on that given day. We ended up with another negative on our recent FFN test, so there's a 99% chance that I will NOT deliver in the next two weeks. This is really good because we know we're pretty safe (with the obvious exception of something strange happening - water breaking, placenta issues, etc), but it can be frustrating because if I get a lot of contractions, I know it's not worth going to L&D or the doctor because I have a negative on that test. I can safely say that I now know way more about preterm labor, tests, and medications than I ever wanted to know.
Anyway, I'm thankful that things have been pretty good and hopeful they will continue so I can get that modified bed rest. Whoever would think that a goal would be to get to go to the grocery store every now and then? ;)
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
I am a pregnant MTHFR
And I still cannot look at that particular string of letters without thinking of the more obscene interpretation. However, after reading many many blogs of other people who have this particular condition, I am more convinced than ever that the obscene interpretation is the correct one. When I see how many problems and issues it has caused for so many people, it simply boggles my mind.
I can't help but wonder how different this pregnancy would have been without it. It wouldn't have been nearly as terrifying and anxiety producing, but I wonder if it would have been as treasured? Any child is a blessing, but if I had simply been able to have a second child when I wanted to, would I have felt this intense feeling of being absolutely blessed with a child? I don't know because we didn't get to have that experience; however, it's something that I think about all the time when I visit the blogs of others within the RPL (repeat pregnancy loss) and infertility community. There are so many people out there with this condition who haven't been able to get pregnant and experience any of this yet, and there are so many who are anxiously progressing, day by day, through their own pregnancy right now with so many of the same fears and anxieties.
All of this is one of the main reasons that I try so hard to stay on the bright side and to look at things in a positive manner. It's been hard at times, especially with all of our current complications, but we have been beyond blessed to get this far and I never ever forget it. At any point in the next few weeks, we could end up with cord problems, and I never stop thinking about that as well, due to the clotting nature of this disorder. Even with the blood thinners, the cord can start to clot or rot away while the baby is still using it. I'm really glad that we monitor Jellybean as much as we do to make sure she's doing well so that this isn't as big a fear as it could be.
I can't believe that, up to this point and hopefully beyond, I have been able to be a success story. I can't believe that we are growing what appears to be a healthy and active little girl. Although the idea of six more weeks of this kind of pain and discomfort is really hard to deal with, I never lose sight of what is coming at the end of it all. It's just too easy to let the depression and the overwhelming nature of the whole situation to take over every now and then. But it's overwhelming in both negative and positive ways. While I may express the frustrations and the feelings of anxiety more often, I never stop thanking God for my blessing and the chance to hold her very very soon. I know that I could be like so many other people and still deep in the process of testing and trying, and I know how that process feels. There's nothing that hurts your soul and your heart more than that negative test or that wait for HCG levels or that knowledge that yet another precious baby has left you. Those are experiences that change you at the very core and you will never ever forget what they felt like or what they meant.
All of this is a long way of saying, I'm grateful. I wanted to enjoy being pregnant a lot more by avoiding sickness and complications, but that wasn't in the cards for me; however, none of that means that I don't fully comprehend the luck and the grace that helped me get to this point. I am blessed beyond belief to have gotten this far, and I will never forget everything that brought us to this point. There is a light at the end of that MTHFRing tunnel, and I'm so close I can almost touch it.
I can't help but wonder how different this pregnancy would have been without it. It wouldn't have been nearly as terrifying and anxiety producing, but I wonder if it would have been as treasured? Any child is a blessing, but if I had simply been able to have a second child when I wanted to, would I have felt this intense feeling of being absolutely blessed with a child? I don't know because we didn't get to have that experience; however, it's something that I think about all the time when I visit the blogs of others within the RPL (repeat pregnancy loss) and infertility community. There are so many people out there with this condition who haven't been able to get pregnant and experience any of this yet, and there are so many who are anxiously progressing, day by day, through their own pregnancy right now with so many of the same fears and anxieties.
All of this is one of the main reasons that I try so hard to stay on the bright side and to look at things in a positive manner. It's been hard at times, especially with all of our current complications, but we have been beyond blessed to get this far and I never ever forget it. At any point in the next few weeks, we could end up with cord problems, and I never stop thinking about that as well, due to the clotting nature of this disorder. Even with the blood thinners, the cord can start to clot or rot away while the baby is still using it. I'm really glad that we monitor Jellybean as much as we do to make sure she's doing well so that this isn't as big a fear as it could be.
I can't believe that, up to this point and hopefully beyond, I have been able to be a success story. I can't believe that we are growing what appears to be a healthy and active little girl. Although the idea of six more weeks of this kind of pain and discomfort is really hard to deal with, I never lose sight of what is coming at the end of it all. It's just too easy to let the depression and the overwhelming nature of the whole situation to take over every now and then. But it's overwhelming in both negative and positive ways. While I may express the frustrations and the feelings of anxiety more often, I never stop thanking God for my blessing and the chance to hold her very very soon. I know that I could be like so many other people and still deep in the process of testing and trying, and I know how that process feels. There's nothing that hurts your soul and your heart more than that negative test or that wait for HCG levels or that knowledge that yet another precious baby has left you. Those are experiences that change you at the very core and you will never ever forget what they felt like or what they meant.
All of this is a long way of saying, I'm grateful. I wanted to enjoy being pregnant a lot more by avoiding sickness and complications, but that wasn't in the cards for me; however, none of that means that I don't fully comprehend the luck and the grace that helped me get to this point. I am blessed beyond belief to have gotten this far, and I will never forget everything that brought us to this point. There is a light at the end of that MTHFRing tunnel, and I'm so close I can almost touch it.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Doctor's Appointment
Well, we went to the doctor again today and it was pretty uneventful, which is all well and good, but I would appreciate more answers or some kind of help.
Short answer: Don't know why it's all still going on. Cervix is still closed, which is good, so the contractions aren't causing change yet. Why are there so many and why are they so strong? Who knows. She picked up quite a few on the TOCO moniter during the NST, but said they weren't consistent or following a pattern (which I told her already). Don't know why they increase at night. Don't know anything. Best advice: hang in there.
I was able to get a prescription for Tylenol 3 to help with the pain and to hopefully help me sleep. While this is a step in the right direction, I've never had much luck with this particular drug doing anything, but I'm going to think positively and hope it does. We also did another FFT to see if I'm safe for another two weeks. We should know on that tomorrow.
So, again, we just don't know.
Short answer: Don't know why it's all still going on. Cervix is still closed, which is good, so the contractions aren't causing change yet. Why are there so many and why are they so strong? Who knows. She picked up quite a few on the TOCO moniter during the NST, but said they weren't consistent or following a pattern (which I told her already). Don't know why they increase at night. Don't know anything. Best advice: hang in there.
I was able to get a prescription for Tylenol 3 to help with the pain and to hopefully help me sleep. While this is a step in the right direction, I've never had much luck with this particular drug doing anything, but I'm going to think positively and hope it does. We also did another FFT to see if I'm safe for another two weeks. We should know on that tomorrow.
So, again, we just don't know.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Another day, another issue - with Update
I've been hoping this would all stop and go away, but it just hasn't. It seems like my body is just conspiring against me in every human way possible and it's getting very old very quick.
On Saturday I woke up just not feeling well. Very achy and with a pretty bad headache. Couldn't kick any of it at all that day. Saturday night, about 6pm, the contractions started. They were really bad. Painful and they got down to every 2 minutes. It went on and on for hours until I could take my pill at 8. The pill calmed them down, but they didn't stop.
Sunday - contractions all day. Headache and body aches. Severe contractions in the evening. No sleep night #2.
Today - called the doctor to let her know what's going on. We're over 36 hours of nonstop contractions now and the medicine makes them back off but not stop. I still have a serious headache. Strangely enough, the contractions back off a bit in the morning and afternoon - typically to around one every ten minutes or so and they are more pressure than pain. However, once the evening hits they come on full force and become painful, strong, and frequent.
I'm waiting to hear back from the doctor. Brian thinks they need to switch my medicine, but the other one is the one that is so dangerous and that the FDA issued warnings about in February, so I really won't feel good if we switch to that. I'm also terrified that one of these visits is going to be the one that sends me back to the hospital. How much will she let me deal with on my own at home before I end up on constant hospital monitoring? That would be an absolute nightmare and the worst thing I can imagine.
Keep your fingers crossed for me. I'll update when I know more.
UPDATE
The doctor's office just called and the nurse said that if, at present, I'm *only* contracting a few times an hour, there's no reason to come in or be seen. Didn't seem overly concerned about the fact that we are now at almost 48 hours of constant contractions. Said if tonight it becomes bad again and they're regular and 3 min. apart, we need to head back to L&D. This is extremely frustrating on many levels. 1) Each trip to L&D ends up getting me admitted which costs us $300. This is starting to get very pricey. 2) I'm sick of going there and trying to sleep in those uncomfortable beds or to just sit there and wait. It's uncomfortable and horrible. 3) I just can't face those nurses again. It's been three times already and I know them all by now. I just can't do it.
Those may sound like petty or silly reasons not to go, but you have no idea how frustrating it is. To have them look at the computer and see that I was just there and to have to go through ALL of the medical history questions, yet again, and explain the symptoms, yet again. And to sit there in an L&D room when I know that I'm not going to have a baby. I'm just taking up space for issues that they can't explain or fix.
I'm sorry. I'm in pain, I haven't slept in two days, and I don't know when this is going to stop or what this all means. I am pretty much at the end of my emotional rope here and I just can't handle it all anymore. I need my doctor to fix this or tell me how to stop it or when we can end it and she just can't do that. Frustrated isn't a strong enough word right now for what I'm feeling.
On Saturday I woke up just not feeling well. Very achy and with a pretty bad headache. Couldn't kick any of it at all that day. Saturday night, about 6pm, the contractions started. They were really bad. Painful and they got down to every 2 minutes. It went on and on for hours until I could take my pill at 8. The pill calmed them down, but they didn't stop.
Sunday - contractions all day. Headache and body aches. Severe contractions in the evening. No sleep night #2.
Today - called the doctor to let her know what's going on. We're over 36 hours of nonstop contractions now and the medicine makes them back off but not stop. I still have a serious headache. Strangely enough, the contractions back off a bit in the morning and afternoon - typically to around one every ten minutes or so and they are more pressure than pain. However, once the evening hits they come on full force and become painful, strong, and frequent.
I'm waiting to hear back from the doctor. Brian thinks they need to switch my medicine, but the other one is the one that is so dangerous and that the FDA issued warnings about in February, so I really won't feel good if we switch to that. I'm also terrified that one of these visits is going to be the one that sends me back to the hospital. How much will she let me deal with on my own at home before I end up on constant hospital monitoring? That would be an absolute nightmare and the worst thing I can imagine.
Keep your fingers crossed for me. I'll update when I know more.
UPDATE
The doctor's office just called and the nurse said that if, at present, I'm *only* contracting a few times an hour, there's no reason to come in or be seen. Didn't seem overly concerned about the fact that we are now at almost 48 hours of constant contractions. Said if tonight it becomes bad again and they're regular and 3 min. apart, we need to head back to L&D. This is extremely frustrating on many levels. 1) Each trip to L&D ends up getting me admitted which costs us $300. This is starting to get very pricey. 2) I'm sick of going there and trying to sleep in those uncomfortable beds or to just sit there and wait. It's uncomfortable and horrible. 3) I just can't face those nurses again. It's been three times already and I know them all by now. I just can't do it.
Those may sound like petty or silly reasons not to go, but you have no idea how frustrating it is. To have them look at the computer and see that I was just there and to have to go through ALL of the medical history questions, yet again, and explain the symptoms, yet again. And to sit there in an L&D room when I know that I'm not going to have a baby. I'm just taking up space for issues that they can't explain or fix.
I'm sorry. I'm in pain, I haven't slept in two days, and I don't know when this is going to stop or what this all means. I am pretty much at the end of my emotional rope here and I just can't handle it all anymore. I need my doctor to fix this or tell me how to stop it or when we can end it and she just can't do that. Frustrated isn't a strong enough word right now for what I'm feeling.
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