By the numbers...

144 days to go (I know the counter above says it's more, but we have to subtract two weeks from that as our goal is 38 weeks and not 40).

At this point, by the numbers,

I have been pregnant for 125 days.

I have had five prenatal appointments (with another next week).

I have had blood drawn for pregnancy purposes 22 times.

I have given myself 97 injections (ok, Brian did some of those, but I'm still proud).

I have taken 112 doses of progesterone.

I have had five sonograms and two doppler screenings.

I have had three kidney infections with four antibiotics - one of which I will now take until I deliver.

I have had two visits to the ER which were thankfully both related to the kidney infections.

I have had one CT scan, which we never ever ever want to do again during a pregnancy.

I have gone through more Tums in the past two weeks than I remember being humanly possible.

I have enjoyed feeling JellyBean kick for most of the past week.

I still live every day with almost constant fear and worry.

I need to focus on hope. Hope is the reason we have gotten this far, and I know it will get us even further.

Monday

Gearing up to go to work tomorrow. I shouldn't complain - I only go in once a week - but I just hate this class. The students are absolutely miserable and will not participate. They just sit there with scowls on their faces and refuse to answer questions - even when called on. *deep sigh* That makes for a LOOONG three hours.

We took Katie to the Farmer's Market on Saturday and she got some lovely facepaint. This was the first time she'd ever had it done and she was thrilled. She got two lovely blue butterflies on either side of her face (complete with sparkly blue eyeshadow on her eyes which, while adorable, kinda creeped me out). When the day ended we had to break the news to her that we needed to take off the paint and she got very upset. Come to find out that she was afraid we wouldn't think she was pretty without it. Simultaneous broken heart and laughter on our part :) Needless to say, she was reassured plenty that she's still gorgeous.

After that we were going to go see a show outdoors, but it rained. Again. I've kinda had it with the rainy cold weather this summer (but it's nice to not have to pay for air conditioning). Thankfully, we thought to go bowling, which Katie had never done before. She loved it and got the first strike of the night :) It was pretty cute. She also got 100 on her first game which is something that I strive to do whenever I play...typically without much success.

JellyBean appears to be doing well. Today s/he gave me a good solid wallop right to the gut, leading me to believe that s/he got a great running start before hitting a wall. It also appears that s/he is learning to jump rope with the placenta, but I could be mistaken. In any case, it's a lot of fun because while I had vague memories, I forgot what it was like to have a little hijacker making things move and affecting your body - and you have NO control over it. I need to remember this in about two months when the little one is dancing around and I can't sleep ;)

Been doing a bit of looking around at baby gear as well. We know we're going to need a new pack 'n play and a dresser for the room. Other items are not required but may be necessary. I think we need a Sit n' Stand stroller to help us corral the children and to make life easier. Is it required? I don't think so, but I think I'm going to want one (especially since Katie is not great at "listening" right now). However, she'll be four when we're really using it, so maybe we don't need one? I don't know. The other maybe is a new infant car seat. Ours is still good, so we really shouldn't get one, but the problem is that I drive a Civic. Actually, we drive a Civic as Brian's car is not to be trusted on distances farther than five miles (thankfully allowing him to get to work and back). If we have Katie behind the driver and the baby behind me, with that carrier handle pushed all the way back, I will lose my seat almost entirely. We put it in the car and I had my knees up in my chest.

Obviously, things change in three years and seats are a bit more compact now, but not by a lot; however, the one made to go with the Sit n' Stand stroller does seem to be the smallest, so it may just be the way the universe is telling us to get them. Obviously, if we had been thinking four years ago when we bought the Civic, we would have gotten an Accord and this wouldn't be a huge problem, but at that time we were simply considering gas mileage since I drive so far to and from work. Hindsight is 20/20, huh?

Here's the bad part - the infant seats in this brand are ugly. And I mean UGLY. I know that shouldn't matter. They're not that expensive and they are going to be smaller and easier to carry, but if the baby is a boy then our choices are black with a yellow stripe or black with lime green. Blech! It gets a bit better if it's a girl, but...well, we'll see.

18 week appointment next Tuesday. We'll find out then when we get to have our sonogram to make sure JellyBean is looking as good as s/he is acting and to find out who it may be. Just to forewarn you - we probably will not be sharing names ahead of time with this one (as it's been the cause of many arguments between us and may well not be settled until after the baby's second birthday) but we'll definitely share gender!

Have a pleasant evening. I'm going to go toss and turn with these darn restless legs...at least when JellyBean really starts moving it will give me something else to blame sleepless nights on ;)

Katie and Jellybean

It's been a while since I gave you a good Katie update, so here's one that continues to make me chuckle:

Katie is over the moon with the idea of being a big sister. Ever since she saw JellyBean on the ultrasound, she talks about him/her non-stop. If you ask her about the experience, she has a few choice responses she pulls out:
* "It was swimming!"
* "It waved at me and I waved back."
or, my personal favorite:
* "The baby showed me his bootybum."

Now she's thinking of all the things she's going to teach the baby to do, and it's slowly evolving into how much she can boss a baby around. I think that's what she's most excited about. She's also very very clear on the gender she prefers. A typical conversation goes like this:
Katie: "When will my baby sister be here?"
Me: "Around Thanksgiving, you know that."
Katie: "I think my Baby sister will like the name Yellow. I'm sure she told me."
Me: "What if you have a baby brother instead? You know, a boy baby?"
Katie: "That's not going to happen."
Me: "Well, it might. Remember: God chooses whether you get a baby brother or sister."
Katie: "If it's a brother baby, I'm giving it back."

Slowly she is coming around to the idea of a boy (we try to refer to Jellybean as a boy often just to get her to think about it), but she definitely wants a sister. There was much consolation in the idea that she could still dress up the baby even if it was a boy.

It just makes my heart so happy to see her like this. I know we're a family, but something about this baby just seems to make us more "complete." It rounds out the circle, so to speak, and gives her someone to boss around eternally.

Thanks for the good thoughts and comments :) On a less fun note, I'm off to the Urologist again today to hopefully put an end to kidney infections for the rest of this pregnancy (thank you, but three has been more than enough!). I think he's going to put me on an antibiotic for the next five months...more pills. Blech.

Oh, and if he says "Vay-gyn-ah" again like he did last time (all with his creepy undertaker personality and voice), I will laugh. I haven't slept enough to hold it together this time.

ICLW Intro

Available below - just a couple of posts down :)

Hello Jellybean!

It's official - we've got some movement.

It's been faint and tentative for a few weeks now, but with certainty I can now say that the little buddy is making him or herself known when possible. The best part about it is it feels like s/he gets a running (swimming) start on one end and then just pounds into the other side. Clearly, this one has a high activity level (as does his big sister...mom and dad are going to be in trouble).

Jellybean still isn't big enough for this to be consistent or really apparent, but just feeling him/her there every now and then is a wonderful comfort. And another very significant milestone for us.

The Meeting

I think we have things figured out and they are going to work out as well as they can. Nothing is completely set yet, but it should be ok.

The fall is the fall. I lost my overload, which was tough. I could have kept it, but there were some compelling reasons not to.
1. I'm supposed to be low-stress and another class is not low stress (I got rid of a writing course, which is nice).
2. If I have to leave the semester earlier than planned - or even for the last 3-4 weeks - my pay will not reflect that additional course. I will only get sick pay for the base load.

Considering the likelihood of something happening sooner in the semester (I'm using Katie and the fact that this is high-risk as my measure here), I think I made the best choice. It's lost money, but it may help us all in the long run with the baby.

For the spring, B and BB proposed a new option: I will be teaching all 8 and 12 week courses. There is no overload (I had lost that anyway), but I wouldn't start the semester until February 13th and after midterm break. I just found out that it will be four 12 week classes (one online) and one eight week class.

It's a bit of a bummer because it will be back to a five day a week schedule (so we'll pay five day daycare and gas but without the benefit of my overload pay), and once the 8 wk class starts, I will have a three hour break between classes on MW and will come in only for a 1-3pm class on Friday. It does give me four weeks off without using sick time. If I go all the way until I'm scheduled to go in, I'll have 12 total weeks off - paid. And I only have to use about three weeks of sick time (leaving me with 6.8 for emergencies). I'm trying to tell myself the benefits outweigh the rest, but I'm not good at convincing myself of things.

So, I lost some money on the overloads, but I did get a less stressful schedule for fall and a better option for spring. Of course, BB's main concern was me and my stress level. Which is all well and good, but she doesn't quite understand when I say, "I need to work because I need money." She's very much of "family is first and the rest doesn't really matter" mentality - definitely a good thing, but the rest does matter :)

Now, if the state of Illinois would stop f*&king with our insurance options, I'd be good to go.

ICLW Introduction

Greetings to those visiting from ICLW!

I'm sure some of you are wondering who this person is and what's going on here, so I'll give you a little "up-to-the-minute" briefing. Please feel free to look around and explore whatever tickles your fancy.

My first pregnancy was very rough, but no one thought it was unusual (least of all, us). I was beyond sick for almost the entire nine months and it was really hard to stay healthy and happy during that time. In fact, I was one of the few lucky people who actually came out of my pregnancy almost 25 pounds lighter than I went in. After being so sick, my water broke (at work, of course - forty minutes from home) a month early and we met our daughter, Katie earlier than we expected.

Although it was a tough pregnancy, my doctor didn't think there was anything unusual, except for the fact that I could NOT progress in labor (after 23 hours, I had managed to get to 2cm) and had to have a semi-emergency C-section when Katie went into fetal distress. We didn't think anything of it.

Well, all of that changed when we decided it was time to have another child. Funny, "decided" is so the wrong word for these situations, isn't it? Our first pregnancy began normally enough in October of 2009, but at six weeks, we realized that the embryo wasn't developing past a cellular level. After monitoring HCG levels every other day for several weeks (and if you've ever waited on those numbers, you know what agony this is - especially over weekends), we found the numbers didn't rise and then fell. This was declared a "chemical pregnancy."

We managed to get pregnant again in the spring. This one did not start out as well. After getting what I thought was my period, I got a positive pregnancy test at the doctor's one week later in April of 2010. We knew that wasn't good. More waiting on HCG levels for weeks: will they go up or down? Waiting and worrying. After being very sick and in a lot of pain, the numbers finally started to go down. A D&C followed this one. My doctor wasn't concerned and didn't want to do any tests. She said it was probably ectopic, but that we don't need to be concerned about anything until I had had three miscarriages in a row.

Well, glad to oblige. I got another positive pregnancy test in November of 2010 following some bleeding. I knew these signs and knew they weren't good. If you want to read all of that drama - switching doctors, hospitalization, ectopic pregnancy - well, that's all documented right here in daily blows.

In March of 2011, we finally received a positive pregnancy test after being diagnosed with an MTHFR mutation. I began progesterone and daily shots of Lovenox, which I will continue throughout my pregnancy. We have battled three kidney infections, lots of fear, and some less-than-fun restrictions, but are now into our second trimester. We're not safe by any means, but we're hopeful.

So, that's us in a nutshell. Hope to see you around more often; the more positive viewers and comments there are, the better we all feel :)